Words by David Miller, Jun/Jul PosAbility Magazine
You have been dating for a few months. Perhaps you met at Christmas or in early Spring and now the summer holiday period looms enticingly ahead. You both feel that it is time to take your budding relationship to a new level of intimacy and go on holiday together. In this article, I will guide you through this exciting decision and help you avoid any pitfalls along the way.
First, let this be a joint project; each of you should be involved in choosing the destination and the type of holiday you both want. Do you want a beach or city break? How important is mobility for either of you? Both of you should be clear what you each want from your holiday.
Make sure the only baggage you bring is of the physical kind. So, don’t revisit places that have been important in previous relationships. Your first holiday should be about making new memories with a new partner. Ideally, it should be a new destination for both of you.
Check carefully on accessibility at your destination before finalising your booking. Sites like Euan’s Guide and Accomable are a goldmine of helpful information and reputable travel specialists like disabledholidays.com have expert advice on hand. Knowing that you won’t run into unforeseen difficulties will take away a lot of the stress. Certainly, things can go wrong on any holiday, accept that, and be prepared to laugh about them rather than make it an issue.
Start your holiday early by indulging yourselves at the airport and on the flight itself. For around £15 you can pre-book entrance to an exclusive airport lounge which gives you a luxurious start to your trip whatever airline or ticket class you have booked. This can be a blessing if you need a relaxed place to sit especially if you have mobility issues. Other small treats can be had by buying an upmarket takeaway snack from The Caviar House outlet at the airport. A plate of smoked salmon sandwiches will bring a moment of glamour to your first trip together and demonstrate how much you value your partner. Try to add interesting ‘Facebook moments’ to your trip by stretching your experiences. Why not add some exciting activities such as canoeing or skydiving? If you have a disability you might feel daunted by such challenges. You can get inspiration to try out new adventures by reading Martyn Sibley’s blog which details his many accessible trips, www.martynsibley.com.
Even if you do sign up for some wonderful ‘couple’ activities, leave yourselves some private ‘me’ time so that you are not continually in each other’s pocket. Maybe one of you might go to the beach leaving the other to go shopping or reading quietly on a terrace. That way you can take away some pressure from a 24-hour holiday relationship. But do take time together to choose a souvenir that will symbolise this first holiday together. Maybe an apron with a picture of a Spanish bull that can bring holiday memories into your kitchen or a local craft item that can be a talking piece when you have friends come visiting.
Words by David Miller
David Miller is a disability dating expert at www.disabilitymatch.co.uk, a leading UK dating site for disabled men and women to find friendship and romance in a secure and welcoming environment. Follow on Twitter @disabilitymatch